Last week I had a very powerful conversation with my coach.
We were discussing our experience of living and I was sharing some recent worries and stresses that I have been feeling.
But I didn’t expect the conversation to go the way it went. I thought he would just put me at ease to let me know that it’s ok to get stressed about certain things, especially in this current climate. But no, he pushed me into a different space.
We discussed how my worries only existed within my own thinking. They only seemed like a reality because that is what my mind was deeming them to be.
He asked me a simple question “would your worries still exist if you had no thoughts?”.
At first, I was stumped. “Of course they would”, I wanted to reply. But I let the question sink in.
And I realised that the honest answer was “no they wouldn’t”.
So I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting since that very powerful conversation and it’s got me pondering the bigger question of “who am I without my thoughts?”.
This simple question has been rolling around my head for a few days as I’ve tried to explore every option. I asked myself this question three times in a row before I meditated on the weekend and came to a fascinating realisation.
That realisation is that without my thoughts I am both everything and nothing.
And I have come to this conclusion based on our existence as part of nature and part of the bigger whole. Without my thoughts, I would still be connected to everything around me; the trees and plants that provide me with oxygen, the sounds that I hear, the energy I get from the sun, the food that I eat – I am totally entwined within this world.
But without my thoughts, I also become nothing. Because my thoughts create the experience that I live. My past experiences, the stories and concepts I have in my mind, create my reality. So without them I would not be Alex. I would just ‘be’. I would simply exist.
Within this learning there is something really profound for me, and this is that although I will carry worries and fears and anxieties with me in this world – they are ultimately my own creation. And without the thinking I have around these things, they wouldn’t exist.
So my question to you is – I hope – a simple one; what problems or worries or stresses are you carrying around, that only exist in your mind?
Peace and love,